Man Survives Heart Attack becomes ingenious inventor.
Working the front desk, I come into contact with many interesting individuals on a daily basis. Due to the close proximity of this hotel to the Mayo Hospital, as well as, a discounted "Mayo" rate, several patients stay here. As a result I get to hear all about their latest kidney transplant or vasectomy operation. Much of the time they are older and since there is no onsite restaurant or movie theatre a lot the time their entertainment comes in the way of hanging out at the front desk and jabbering with whatever lucky individual is on the other side of the desk.
Case in point, I was approached by a tall, white haired, older gentleman who had been staying here at the hotel for probably three weeks. On many an occasion he had exhausted the aural cavities of the other "Front Desk agents" and on this day of days I was lucky enough to be on the receiving end. Do not get the wrong impression, this man was no senile old fart. He began by criticizing the current presidency giving such key phrases as ," that idiot don't know his ass from his (head?)," and went on to make various comments about the border being wide open. I simply nodded in affirmation. This naturally led to a commentary about the Twin Towers being taken down by controlled explosives instead of the two gigantic jet liners that crashed into them. "That's bordering on conspiracy theory. If that happened who was responsible?" to which he replied a simple 'I don't know'. Then, of course, he launched into detailed descriptions of the various weaponry that he is current owner of at his residence including but not limited to, a TEC-9 fully auto with laser scope and a full auto uzi. As if he was reading a script he launched into a story about his days with the NSA and his house's close proximity to the Canadian border. During this entire experience I was overwhelmed at times by a mysterious stench emanating from this man. It was a sort of mix between some sort of cologne and dare I say it, poo. Have you ever been speaking with someone and smelt poo? Oddly enough many of the people staying here smell like that. I cannot place it but I think I have heard in the past how this sort of reveals that they have a large amount of toxins built up in their bodies. Who knows? I digress.
After the interesting yet long winded biography, he dived into his internet aspirations of becoming an online marketer once he gets better. He was visiting the hospital because nine years prior he had a massive heart attack and as a result only 45% of his heart worked, and had been working like that for all of these years. So here he was going to the hospital to participate in a new kind of treatment where the doctor injects cloned genes into the actual heart which supposedly helps it rebuild. Kind of space age eh? Back to the marketing ideas . . .
He first begins by telling me that he has developed a silver cleaner that he can market to dollar stores. An idea sure, but something profitable? Then, he informs me that he has created an outdoor game for children that he called Bolo. I actually looked this up and it looks like somebody beat him to it. Bolo . Too bad. The last little invention was the most interesting and he told me a disclaimer before saying that I would laugh for not one day. not two days. but three days! He called this little invention a "PUBAstash". Can you guess what that is? Keep in mind this guy was probably 73 years of age +. He tells me that its for the husband who has anything, well now he can have a pubastash. Basically its a mustache made from . . .get this. . . . .the pubic hairs of his wife(or boyfriend)! He said that he patented it and got it trademarked ALREADY and that he is just waiting to get better to bring these to the market. Not sure how they would do but I have a sneaky suspicion that they may be popular in such liberal markets as San Francisco or North Hollywood. So be on the lookout for the ultimate gift for the guy who has everything this holiday season . . . . . . . . . .PUBASTASH!
Case in point, I was approached by a tall, white haired, older gentleman who had been staying here at the hotel for probably three weeks. On many an occasion he had exhausted the aural cavities of the other "Front Desk agents" and on this day of days I was lucky enough to be on the receiving end. Do not get the wrong impression, this man was no senile old fart. He began by criticizing the current presidency giving such key phrases as ," that idiot don't know his ass from his (head?)," and went on to make various comments about the border being wide open. I simply nodded in affirmation. This naturally led to a commentary about the Twin Towers being taken down by controlled explosives instead of the two gigantic jet liners that crashed into them. "That's bordering on conspiracy theory. If that happened who was responsible?" to which he replied a simple 'I don't know'. Then, of course, he launched into detailed descriptions of the various weaponry that he is current owner of at his residence including but not limited to, a TEC-9 fully auto with laser scope and a full auto uzi. As if he was reading a script he launched into a story about his days with the NSA and his house's close proximity to the Canadian border. During this entire experience I was overwhelmed at times by a mysterious stench emanating from this man. It was a sort of mix between some sort of cologne and dare I say it, poo. Have you ever been speaking with someone and smelt poo? Oddly enough many of the people staying here smell like that. I cannot place it but I think I have heard in the past how this sort of reveals that they have a large amount of toxins built up in their bodies. Who knows? I digress.
After the interesting yet long winded biography, he dived into his internet aspirations of becoming an online marketer once he gets better. He was visiting the hospital because nine years prior he had a massive heart attack and as a result only 45% of his heart worked, and had been working like that for all of these years. So here he was going to the hospital to participate in a new kind of treatment where the doctor injects cloned genes into the actual heart which supposedly helps it rebuild. Kind of space age eh? Back to the marketing ideas . . .
He first begins by telling me that he has developed a silver cleaner that he can market to dollar stores. An idea sure, but something profitable? Then, he informs me that he has created an outdoor game for children that he called Bolo. I actually looked this up and it looks like somebody beat him to it. Bolo . Too bad. The last little invention was the most interesting and he told me a disclaimer before saying that I would laugh for not one day. not two days. but three days! He called this little invention a "PUBAstash". Can you guess what that is? Keep in mind this guy was probably 73 years of age +. He tells me that its for the husband who has anything, well now he can have a pubastash. Basically its a mustache made from . . .get this. . . . .the pubic hairs of his wife(or boyfriend)! He said that he patented it and got it trademarked ALREADY and that he is just waiting to get better to bring these to the market. Not sure how they would do but I have a sneaky suspicion that they may be popular in such liberal markets as San Francisco or North Hollywood. So be on the lookout for the ultimate gift for the guy who has everything this holiday season . . . . . . . . . .PUBASTASH!
posted by Trav.S at 7:37 AM
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