A strange thing occurs inside one's gut during the process of being fired. There seems to be a bursting forth of heat centralized in the chest cavity. It is somewhat tough to figure out the reason why this happens there and not in the legs or hands or something. There also seems to be a flushing of the cheeks presumably from being in shock as all of the primal survival instincts start to sound their alarms as the mind begins to race with various thoughts like 'how am I going to eat?', 'how am I going to get around?', 'how am I going to pay for (insert thing here)?' It was also interesting to notice that a smile was permanently plastered on the face in between the flushing cheeks. Again, I presume it is merely from the shock of being 'replaced'. I can also assume that there are various levels of rejection that the ego also creates. A shock to the system to say the least. Hard not to take personally. The ego even makes attempts at exposing various things in a sort of vindication when it cannot logically find somebody to make into the object of the cause of its pain. When fired, be fired. Rejoice the next day because there isn't a job there to show up at, and for that day you do not have to work!
The
STORY: this past weekend I missed work on Saturday to spend time with my girlfriend because it was her birthday. When I miss work I have to get a sub to fill in. The sub that I have sub for me has a sort of resemblance to Lenny Kravitz. Ever since getting him to sub for me I have had anxiety over being replaced by him. As I have come to learn, the music industry is quite fickle and ruthless, as was demonstrated by the abrupt firing of the original drummer for ZB without any warning or anything. Zowie(chris) called me up randomly on Tuesday stating that he was in the area and wanted to know if he could 'stop by'. Keep in mind that there is not one person in the Zowie Bowie Showie that sees let alone hears from Chris or Marley during the four day work week. So this was kind of random and weird. He arrived at my house and I let him in and showed him around a bit. I figured he was there because of 'other reasons and problems' which I helped him with, but those alarms were still going off and I knew that the real reason he came over to my house was not because of what I helped him with. We stepped outside into the Arizona heat and had a seat. First he asks about
Antedote, the ORIGINAL band I am in with my brother adding that he was 'so jealous of what we were doing, you guys are the real deal.' I still knew that there was more than meets the eye. He then begins to tell me that they are going to have to move to Vegas in 8-9 months and that a lot of things are happening. Adding such disclaimers as ,"so I am just going to say this. I am not going to candy coat this, I have to be blunt" etc etc, he then tells me ,"We are replacing you.........with Anthony." The above mentioned physical manifestations began making themselves known all over my body.
"This band is my passion. I need everyone up on stage for it be their passion too. I know that it is not you passion. We are going for a sort of Black Eyed Peas look. I am getting old, and I have to start thinking about this in terms of business. I can't waste anymore time. I want to make my job easier on me because it is taking a toll on my body and I. I want to be up there rocking out with Lenny Kravitz to my right.....everyone in this band has to look out into each girl's eyes in the audience with the 'I want to fuck you' eyes and they have to believe that you would go home with them TONIGHT!..........I like how anthony gyrates his pelvis into the face of girls on the side of the stage....when anthony is up there I don't have to do as much work, " he then adds. "Chris, I don't do that kind of shit man, "I retort. "I know, that is why I would never ask you to be like that because I know it is not you,"Chris adds. I then tell him that when I first joined the band I was pretty crazy and rambunctious on stage, jumping around like a clown, which I knew granted me extreme job security, but then I stopped doing that as more and more people came on stage and I was stuck behind a microphone. I knew that this behavior slowly whittled away my job security and that I had been anticipating this day for a long long time. I also asked if anybody else was getting the axe as well. He said that there was another 'member' (whose name starts with D:) that they were going to have a 'serious'' talk with about how he dresses or else they will have to make a change there....This was followed by 25 minutes of disclaimers, excuses, and 'compliments' designed to make me feel better in the hopes that that would make him feel better about what he was doing. After the shpeel he tells me that the 'only problem with anthony is that he is not committed' and asked me if he needed me for certain dates here and there if I would be interested. Some people may view this as a slap to the face, but I just said whatever call me up. He assured me that he still wanted me to be on the payroll just not with 'as much commitment', then he says something to the gist of "I
want you to call me in 2 months and tell me that I am making a big mistake. I
want you to tell me that you are financial strapped for cash"....I didn't really know what that meant but I just said, "I am not going to call you, its not your problem." Then he states ,"it's too bad you don't play keyboard," to which I laughingly respond , "that is my main instrument chris. You know that. You know that I play." He makes his legendary look of utter disbelief and says, "really?! I really want to expand the show maybe get another keyboard. If I asked you would you consider playing keys for us?" I again said sure, whatever, you got my number. Then I shook his hand as he was leaving and said,"nice working with you." I shut the door as he walked away exclaiming , "well fuck yeah! this doesn't end here then, I am going to make that happen." And I guess if it does....FUCK YEAH!!
